Teens charged with being too awesome

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/04/homeless.beating.ap/index.html

Prosecutor: Teens cruised for 'bums' to attack

FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (AP) -- Two men charged with beating a homeless man to death and viciously attacking two others intended to kill because they repeatedly hit the victims in the head with baseball bats, a prosecutor said Thursday.

Way to hit 'em out of the park with those bats boys!

However, defense attorneys for the two men countered during opening arguments that their clients never meant to do serious harm that night.

Clearly, the boys were only benevolently performing community service and caused no harm.

Prosecutor Peter Holden said Gaynor's skull was crushed and the other two homeless men were beaten in the head, key evidence in whether the attacks were premeditated.

"Every blow had an intended purpose," Holden said in the trial's opening statement.

The purpose: To increase awesomeness and dispose of parasites.

Attorneys for Hooks and Daugherty admitted the group decided to "beat on some homeless guys" that night but did not mean serious harm and that witnesses differ on who struck fatal blows on Gaynor.

Beating on some homeless guys sounds like the start of any good night.

Prosecutors did not seek the death penalty against any of the three because Daugherty was 17 at the time of the crime and was ineligible for capital punishment.

17? This kid should not be tried as adult. Fuck, I didn't know my asshole from a hole in the ground and did a lot of stupid shit when I was 17. If the law states that you aren't an adult until you're 18, and you are denied certain rights because you're under 18, then there shouldn't be exceptions to criminally fuck you as an adult if you're under 18. Trying kids as adults is the dumbest most hypocritical bullshit ever. Fucking ridiculous.

These kids should be free!